WHY??
WHY DON'T PEOPLE MENTION SEXUAL ASSAULT?
posted by Tay @ Saturday, May 06, 2006
35 comments
STOP TWO AND A HALF
THIS COMMUNITY IS DESIGN TO SPREAD THE WORD ABOUT SEXUAL ASSAULT AND GIVE EVERYONE A VOICE TO SPEAK THEIR MIND ABOUT SEXUAL ASSAULT >>THERE IS NO WRONG ANSWER.>>>>MORE INFO VISIT WWW.SADIENASH.ORG/TWOANDAHALF.HTM
35 Comments:
are you talking about the victims?? because they believe they did something to bring on the assault and they are ashamed of it
You won't see the one who committed the crime on YA confessing, that's for sure.
And you won't see too many victims because they are under the impression that the assault was their fault
My company just had a series of sexual harrassment classes...its was mandatory for all employees, so I think it is discussed, but as to why people don't report it? Too many reasons to name!
The victums feel guilty in our society we have a way of making them defend themselves and their actions instead of blaming the perpetrators. For instance why were you at that place at that time of day. And the askers are the protectors of our society. It would be very difficult to answer after being traumatized.
Good Luck and God Bless!!
The NEWS loves to talk and talk and talk about it.
It's in the news and tv/movies all the time (see bishop takes queen), but for the victims, it's a "sore" subject.
i think that people don't talk about sexual assault because they are to scared to be the first person to bring it up so they have to wait until somebody isn't afraid to say hey sexual assault is wrong lets make a difference.
I think that the reason why people do not mention sexual assault is because they are scared of what might happen if they do mention it and how they will be looked at by their friends and family. Also some people may only know sexual assault as affection and this will lead to a person being sexually assaulted to not know that the situation that they are in is not right.
depends on what "people" youre referring to.
as for victims, i believe they dont talk about it for various reasons, including but not limited to fear (of not being believed or of being hurt again by the assailant), guilt (for belief that they provoked it), and denial (the out-of-sight-out-of-mind theory; if they ignore or dont talk about it the feeling will go away and itll be as if it never happened), among other reasons.
as for the general public, i dont believe its talked about because of how sensitive a subject it is. many people dont even think about it unless it happens to them or some1 they kno, or comes up in media- like this blog for example (which i think is a very positive and informative medium).
~cel
One reason is because in general, our society doesn't like to face the darker things that happen in our world, or speak openly about them. Most people just want to pretend that sexual assault just doesn't happen.
I think the reason is that not everyone understands what constitutes sexual harassment
good question....idk really mayb they jus wanna think about the bad and horrible things in life n try in loive in some type of fantasy life where theres no crime r watever but ignoring it aint helping shit except da criminal. am i right or am i right!?
It makes a lot of people uncomfortable. Its hard enough to get people to simply talk about sex. Throw in sexual violence and it gets people really uncomfortable. The thing is we need to talk about it. There needs to be a part of sex ed that talks about sexual assault. Most people just don't know what to do when it happens.
Because people don't talk about sex period.
M-A-N-D-I SS-I-PP-IWrote:
Because people don't talk about sex period.
To be honest I beg to differr. I don't mean any offence to anybody in here (I'm having a really bad monday and things that come out of my mouth today are only because I have had to be so defensive today so if you take this as me being rude I'm really only trying to be polite but ) I don't know what planet you are from but for you to say and I quote "people don't talk about sex period." Do you live in a hole in the ground or do you not see that almost every movie, almost every song on the radio, almost every television show almost every ad has in some way, something to do with sex or a refrence there of?
Now if you MEANT to say "people don't talk about sex ABUSE period" that I might agree on. It's only spoken about very rarely.
I mean you don't walk into a room full of strangers and start talking about who you fucked the night before.
I am not living in a hole, but I am saying that people are uncomfortable talking about sex with their parents, with the governement, with people other than their friends.
So I don't know what kind of social circle you come from, but in my family and my town talking about sex is completely inappropriate for a decent conversation.
I think the people that have experienced it feel shame and embarrasment and fear that no one will believe them or no one will care or everyone will blame them.
I think the people that have not experienced it dont want to think about bad things if they dont have to. Its easier to look the other way and think happy thoughts.
haha um Most people did back when I used to be in high school.
As for the other stuff that part is true. but um....sex is pretty much part of many peoples everyday conversations.
Partly because of how society is, the fact that we live in a blame the victim society. We feel shame and often when talking about it you open yourself upto judgements
well... maybe where i live is completely different from the norm... but when i was in middle school we had sex ed and talked about sex and all that... in high school... we had a similar sex ed program in which we talked about pregnancy and all kinds of sexual assult and dating violence.. and we have a program called snowball and almost every year there was a class you could sign up for about rape and dating violence... it helped alot... eventhough i had only told a few people... it helped inside... oh and there was a segment in the class where she talked about child abuse in which she also covered sexual abuse by parents... we all had the opportunity to share our story (which i didn't kuz it was too soon for me anyway) and it was nice to know that others went through the same thing and learn from them how to deal with it... maybe it's kuz i live so close to the city and it happens alot here... but we do cover it alot in school.. and sex is totally normal to talk about in a normal conversation... some people are totally uncomfortable talking about it (my mom) but for the most part society around here isn't that offended by talking about it... maybe i'm the one living in a weird whole with people who are more comfortable... but i do know it's different in different places.... like my boyfriend lives in ohio... and his sister was asking us about this movie that we saw and she asked if there was any sexual scenes in it and i said yeah and she was like damn then i cant see it... and i was like huh?? she's the same age as my cousins and its normal for them to see movies like that... i guess it just depends on the morals you were brought up with... but yeah it is being talked about somewhere if that eases your mind.
For me it had to do with two things shame and the people I could talk to about things were tramatized themselves and needed to talk too. But both these things you get over and can later talk about things. Infact I openly talk to people about things. Sex has been in the past a things that happens behind closed doors and you don't talk about it(unless you a lose person) then it's come from that to being able to openly talk btw your friends and family and even strangers. Sexual abuse has come from no one beliveing you or wanting to and telling you to not talk about it or you'll scar the family, to being able to turn preditors over to the justice systam and see somesort of justice done. But unfotunily were still in olden times and for some reason very slow coming to times, some familys still "don't want to scar the family" or whatever and it still is a very vaulnerable thing... Sex you have some power(give or take) but with sexual asult your completly vaulnerable and it's hard to talk about this your most vaulnerable experience...
I think it's good to talk about it and I think everyone should find someone you trust to talk about it to, then your not botteling things up and you have another persons perspective on it to let you know things weren't your fault! It's just soething tiem will heal where it's ok to talk about your abuse and help others through things!
It also completly depends on hwere you living and who you hang with as to the amount of comunication that's accepted...
because they feel ashamed that something like that happened to them i think..
or maybe the assault-er threatened them?
Are you serious? that's all I see in the papers and on TV. It's a horrible crime that's happening every day, and I would dare say that the current situation as far as disclosure is not the same at all. The worst is abuse from authority figures (religious, familial) and a very hard issure to overcome. We should talk about it more BUT SEE IT LESS.
Source(s):
abused by a cousin since age 6.
P.S. Thanks aumporpoise.... I've read some new additions and it is true, being a child (in my case) did not give me the option to know what was happening, and the guilt and warnings from my bastard cousin wouldn't let me do anything. Oh and to the guy below.... I guess all these answers prove a point, eh?
because people dont like to talk about.would u like to talk about your sexual assualt to eeeeeeevvvvvvveeeeeeeeeerrrrrr... on the net??
because they feel ashamed, and embarassed. also somewhat guilty
Source(s):
i was repeatedly sexually assualted by my bio mom and her boyfriends
from one who knows, its so private and hurtful, we THINK people WONT understand, or will judge us, when , after years of 'guilt', I realized they really truly don't. AND, we are afraid of what the assailant might do to us.
anything painful gets buried in our mind. but like the above post, we should talk about it more, and see about it less.
Source(s):
the previous post by kebvee
statistically, more women report sexual assault then men because men are ashamed of not being able to protect themselves. More people that are sexually assaulted by strangers report the crime than those sexually assaulted by family members or aquaintances because they don't want to expose their family problem to the public/news media. Depending on their age, many children don't report sexual assault because of fear of reprisals from the person doing the assaulting. There are more reasons not to report than to report
It can be really hard to admit that something that horrible has happened. Even if it wasn't their own fault, they still feel as though it is. They may never get over that self-guilt that they harbored in for so long, even if they do eventually tell someone what happened.
Source(s):
grandfather molested me at age 8, didn't tell anyone for 6 years
Because sometimes you don't want to talk about it because it makes it more real and there is quite often a little bit of doubt that it might not have happened if you had acted differently. Talking about it is a social taboo because most people don't want to hear that kind of evil but we have to break the taboo because bottling things up just makes life more difficult an gives assaulters a chance to strike again. If someone has assaulted you, report it and then let your family and friends know so that they can help you through it, if they don't want to listen they are not worth having as friends. I was raped over a year ago and the police caught the guy, I hated giving statements and I wanted to quit and just crawl up and die but the guy is now serving 6 years in prison and will be deported when he gets out. He had a wife and 2 year old daughter back in his own country and I feel so bad for them but hopefully he will never get the chance to hurt them or any other strangers like myself.
P.S. It isn't as rare as we would like to hope. nearly half the women I know have been raped and more still sexually abused in other ways. The majority of those by family members or when they were children. about 1 in 10 of my male friends has been in the same situation. what makes me really sick is that if I know so many people who have been abused, how many do I know who have secretly been the abuser?
I am a survivor of molestation and rape. I did talk about it the first time it happened to me but No one did anything about it. So next time I did not say anything. MEN AND WOMEN should NOT be afraid or embarrassed to speak up. IT is a VIOLENT CRIME and it is a control issue It is not about sex. IN MY opinion child molesters and rapists should have their fingers and tongues removed and their (men and women) sex organs made impotent!!
Source(s):
It shatters your sole and spirit. YOU are never the same
I've found that talking about it often makes other people uncomfortable...they don't know what to say to you, can't look you in the eyes, etc etc. I only really talk about my abuse with my closest friends for that reason...if the other person is uncomfortable then I get uncomfortable...
But I try to talk about the subject in general, not about my specific story. I think people are more comfortable with that.
I don't really know either. It seems to be a taboo subject. It might be that some people don't want to bring it up for fear of making other people, who have been trough it, remember. Or, I dunno.....Hmmmm, good question.
I am a survivor of molestation and rape. I did talk about it the first time it happened to me but No one did anything about it. So next time I did not say anything. MEN AND WOMEN should NOT be afraid or embarrassed to speak up. IT is a VIOLENT CRIME and it is a control issue It is not about sex. IN MY opinion child molesters and rapists should have their fingers and tongues removed and their (men and women) sex organs made impotent!!
It has to deal with a case of shame and awkwardness. Victims of sexual abuse probably feel as though if they spoke about it, they are showing their weakness when in fact it would only make them stronger. Abuse is something that is very serious and hard to speak about. Sometimes they refuse to even accept what has happened and continues life thinking that maybe if they repressed it then it would just fade away. Yet it often does not and can lead to future complications in their lives. Everyone has different approaches when handling such issues.
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